Let me just start by saying I wanted to do 20 reflections in 2020. And at first I struggled. Who would’ve thought it. And then I went for a walk, and BAM, I had to shorten this list. But I’m all about not abiding by the unwritten rules, so here are 23 reflections & lessons from 2020.
If I want to share 23, I’ll share 23! It’s that time of year, when we all start thinking about the new one, and the one we’re about to leave.
So in this solo episode, join me for an hour long look in to my brain and the 23 (only some of!) the lessons I learnt this year, some of the thinking I’ve done as we approach a brand new year and some things that may just get you thinking.
I would absolutely love it if you could share your thoughts on this episode, share with your community or if any of my points made you think then let me know in my Instagram DMs.
And if I don’t talk to you before, Happy New Year ????
A round up of my lessons from 2020;
#1 Take Action.
When it feels like shit has hit the fan, it’s all gone Pete tong, panic won’t change much. Action will change things. You’re allowed to be upset but you can’t stay there. Feel it, be upset and then move on.
#2 Look after your health.
Nothing is worth making yourself ill over. Not clients, not peoples opinions. Nothing. Get rid of them.
#3 You don’t know everything.
You never will. You’re allowed to ask for help. We all do it. You don’t look silly or stupid for needing help and support.
#4 Surround yourself with the right people
Although cliche, does wonders. What’s that saying, you’re the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with? I get that, but I don’t know about you, but I’ve always just wondered HOW when I hear that. The top dogs, the Richard Bransons, Elon Musks, they’d all want lots of money for me to be able to spend time with them wouldn’t they? But actually it’s the average Joes, the lovely ladies & gents in communities, on social media, THEY are the people I want to be around. Those ‘successful’ people don’t have to be the famous ones.
#5 Mix up your people.
But as a caveat, don’t just surround yourself with people that agree with you or have the same thoughts. You’ll never grow and broaden your thinking if you’re not willing to be challenged on it. However, don’t have these debates with people who just want to win, not learn. I basically unfollowed anyone that was just tweeting for tweets sake about 6 months ago. I now only follow people that will teach me something. Read books you wouldn’t normally go for – it might just teach you something.
#6 You never know.
Who’s watching or listening or who you may meet. Treat everyone with the same respect, they may just become a client one day. There are SO many lurkers out there.
#7 Get everything out of your head.
Write everything down. Remember, you don’t have to share ti with anyone. But getting stuff out, whether that’s on paper, and online journal or even word document or bloody voice note yourself. Just saying some stuff out loud can make things make sense. Yes, sometimes it will help if you trust another human being enough to say it to them, but just get it out. And I heard a quote from an interview I watched on Netflix, and it might surprise you when you hear who it came from – and he said ‘as humans, we all have good and bad thoughts – there’s no such thing as a 100% good guy’ – that was Kanye West.
I can live on less than I thought. I know I’m in a privilege position, but when most of my work disappeared overnight, it wasn’t as scary as I first thought. I no longer care for STUFF, I care about experiences. And I miss travelling so much.
#9 Dr Pepper – What’s the worst that could happen?
Feel the fear, the saliva disappear from your mouth and do it anyway. And just know you’ll smash it! Dr Pepper – what’s the worst that could happen?
Do it with the thought of ‘well if she can, then I can too’ attitude. NOT ‘well if she’s doing it then I can’t’. You’re not the same person. You don’t have the same history, beliefs, values, experience. It’s so normal to compare, but we need to be giving ourselves a bit more of a break I think.
#11 Small incremental changes add up to massive improvements.
If you compare you today to you yesterday, there may not feel like there’s been much of a change. However, compare yourself today to you 365 days ago, I would guess you’ve come a long way.
#12 Loneliness and being alone are not the same.
But they are normal. But make an effort to help yourself. Take responsibility for yourself. Learn to like yourself, because you’re the only person that’s going to be with you forever.
#13 Failure isn’t the same for everyone.
Just like success, it’s subjective.
#14 You’re going to die.
It’s a fact of life. It’s going to hurt, but it’s a stark reminder to cherish those little moments. And also, that this is it. The whole, oh I’ll do it when I have XYZ… What if you never do? Do the thing, life is FAR too short to be unhappy for a prolonged period of time. Fun fact, I’ve quit 3 jobs with no other job to go to because I was miserable.
#15 You don’t have to have it all figured out.
In fact, if you did, what would be left for you to do? Life would be boring wouldn’t it.
If you don’t feel motivated, just do something. Don’t wallow. You’ll likely find then when you do some THING, you’ll get a bit of a spark back.
#17 Find hobbies.
And actually find time to do them. You’ll suck at first but, that’s part of the fun. You’ll come across really boring on dates when you don’t do anything else but work. I sound like a granny with how much I read nowadays, but I don’t care. But this year I also picked up the paints again and for Christmas, I bought myself a keyboard. It’s going to be my thing for the new year to learn how to play the piano.
#18 Give compliments.
If you have a nice thought about someone, tell them. It could totally make their day.
#19 Ask more questions.
About how you can help people. What they need. If they can help you. I wouldn’t have had so much success with the podcast if I hadn’t had the amazing guests I have. But I just asked. It might feel scary to you, but you’ll be shocked by how many people are shocked at the thought of being asked.
#20 Press pause.
It could be the most productive thing you do. Some of our best ideas come when we’re doing repeated stuff, or just simply not doing the thing we need to be focusing on. Whether that’s when we’re out going for a walk, or in the shower. In October, I felt a bit flat. I took some time out and the best idea was staring me in the face. It’s when I came up with the idea of The Ecommerce Accelerator. In my 9 years working for other people, I’ve always marketed and sold products, worked in marketing or ecommerce. Why on earth hadn’t I focused on that now?!
#21 Create more than you consume.
And for the love of god, make sure you have some fun. It’s so easy to get caught up in the ‘it’s got to be perfect’ and all of that. An example for you – a reel that I literally had an idea for, put on my Santa hat, potentially could’ve offended half the population (sorry again lads!) filmed and uploaded within about 2 minutes, has had my highest views, over 2 thousand. You don’t have to plan everything out.
#22 Get rid of ‘shoulds’.
Jesus, there are so many SHOULD do this, in the world. Can we just leave this word in 2020? Just do what you bloody want! This word word made it in to these points purely because of my conversation with Claire from Moxie. There is not one single way to be successful, see point 13. Success is subjective. But even if you were to look at all the BIG business owners, they didn’t all do the same things to get to where they are. So can we stop looking for hacks and get rich quicks BS PLEASE!
#23 You don’t want the job Lorn.
You may feel like quitting. It’s crap some days. But it doesn’t happen overnight, just gotta get through the struggle with gritted teeth, and when in doubt, go for the interview, that’ll prove you don’t want that life anymore.